Day 6 - Ungrateful?

Much of the same today, watching and waiting. They lowered the Fentynl so he would twitch an arm or leg occasionally, nothing much. I went to have a consult on my gallbladder. I decided it was better to take it out as soon as possible so that I was 100% better when Jonah came home, which I was convinced was going to be sooner than the 6-8 weeks I had heard was typical for CDH kids (not that there's any typical, some are a lot shorter and some a lot longer).

We moved to the Ronald McDonald House today as well, which I had a really bad attitude about and then felt bad for being so ungrateful. What was my problem, it was right across the street and a very affordable option. The people were nice and it was clean and well run. My problem was partially that it was a bit further away from Jonah. But I think my bigger problem was that we weren't supposed to be there! That place was for sick kids and families of sick kids. My baby was supposed to be well and going home with us. I didn't want to sleep in two twin beds and hear the people in the next room and share a kitchen with a dozen other families. I didn't want to have to field polite "how's it going" questions when we all know that it's often not going well. I didn't want to have to pump in our room in the dark so I didn't wake my husband up and sneak out there in the middle of the night to put my milk in a communal refrigerator! I'd like to say that I got over this and became the grateful and magnanimous person that I wish I could be, but I didn't. As much as I will forever be grateful to the RMcD House for letting us stay, and will donate generously so that others can do the same, I hated that we had to be there, and I post this so that if you feel the same you know you're not alone, even if it does make me sound awful. I honestly do wish it wasn't this way, and I did realize that it could have been a lot worse, but I tried to spend as little time there as possible and celebrated the day we moved out!